Necroposting

Mmm, this thing’s been dead for so long now. Poor bloggy. Every time I promise to keep you safe and warm and healthy, I end up forgetting about you. Not because I don’t love you but, well, you have to understand I have other commitments…

Drunken Fun? Here I Come!

So, later today - tonight, if we’re being accurate - I’m off up north once more to visit my dearest friend Stephen. No, not my beloved mentor, Yodaminch, but the other one, known fondly as Moo, though some will know him as The Grey Prince on Nyclos. He turns twenty today (happy birthday!) and for three days I’m going to help him celebrate in style.

Night Owling

Wow, it’s been so long since I last blogged.

So some of you might have noticed a change, namely that I’ve gone over to the dark side and joined the Blues. For the past two years I’ve worked as a Commie and it’s pretty much been my calling. It was what I was best at - mediating problems, managing members, enforcing the rules, et cetera. But as of late I’ve had a change of heart.

For shame…

I recall the days in eons since past when one could believe that everyone - no matter who they were - was not inherently stupid, that ignorance was the core and idiocy was but a temporary physical rendering.

Now I see otherwise. Some people are just dim-witted, unintelligent, and dense. No two ways about it. You’re not “hilariously naïve” or “innocently raw”, just plain, unequivocally brainless.

And here is a list of the fools in question:

How not to deal with anti-social behaviour

If there’s one thing this legislature-happy government has failed to do (among the gazillion other things), it’s deal with anti-social behaviour and Britain’s increasing social problems in the correct way. For those across the pond who may be unaware, we have something in Britain called an ASBO - an Anti-Social Behaviour Order - as well as CRASBOs (Criminal Related Anti-Social Behaviour Order). Can’t say I knew about the latter before I did some digging.

So what is an ASBO? It’s essentially a civil order that people get slammed with for engaging in “anti-social” behaviour that may have otherwise resulted “alarm, harassment, or distress to one or more persons not of the same household as him or herself”. Yes, this is the Justice System’s answer to a slap on the wrist. The thing is, what is anti-social behaviour? Is it dealing with the increase in drunken violence among younger age groups? No. Is it helping to maintain order by dissuading people from making trouble that intentionally upsets or intimidates people? Not exactly.

The Butch is Back

Yep, your eyes are not deceiving you: *I* is back. Heh, reminds me of that wonderful line from Hackers: “Have no fear - I is here!” I just loved that! Anyway, I’ve come back to IF “officially”. I’ve been lurking around for a while and posted here and there for the last few days, namely at night when I was unable to get to sleep, but I’ve decided to return once and for all, admittedly a week earlier than I had intended.

Captain’s Log: 1337

It sounded better than just “update”. Well what a week - what a month - it’s been. I’m feeling much better since the loss of Shiva, though I can’t say the same for poor Wolf. He’s missing her dearly, that’s for sure. Poor thing just isn’t the same now but he’ll be alright; plenty of warm hugs and affection will soon see him right. I still call out for her when I gather the dogs to go for a walk and the other day I felt the sharpes pang of bitter reality when I set down her bowl and realised she wasn’t going to be eating. Save for these occasional moments when I forget to adjust my routine, I’m getting used to her not being here. But onto the good news…

Frozen in the Dark

Being something of a casual insomniac in that I tend to be awake at night, when my head is at its most furious and my mind cannot stop its chattering, you would think I’d have grown accustomed to the silence the darkness brings. Save for the hum of this computer and the passing of cars, there is virtually no sound. Yet now, as I sit here in perpetual darkness with only the light of this screen to chase away the shadows, I feel…odd. It’s eerie, strange, new.

:yawn:

It’s half-five in the morning, I’m utterly exhausted and yet sleep seems a lifetime away. Thank goodness I don’t have work tomorrow, I’d be a wreck.

Unfortunately Shiva’s condition (and Wolf’s continuous crying) has kept me up the past few nights, not that I grudge either. It’s not their fault. I just wouldn’t mind some rest during normal hours.

Shiva’s condition hasn’t really improved. It hasn’t gotten that much worse either but it’s not a good sign, although given the situation I’m not entirely sure why I’m searching for “good signs”; there are no such things when it comes to terminal illnesses. I should know that by now. Still, I count myself as fairly rational and quite a logical-thinking person and yet here I am doing the utmost to defy all rationale and logic. I am enslaved to humanity and am bound by cruel emotions. No matter how hard I try to be “unhuman”, no matter what I do to avoid this sort of nonsense, I can’t seem to escape it. I suppose I prize my mind too highly and think myself able to separate my mortality from my psyche. Apparently not so.

I’m missing Ryan already. Oh, he’s the new fella in my life. I mentioned him a while back, about the date I was going on. I’m surprised I didn’t blog about what happened - probably too busy nattering to Kylie about it. Ah yes, just checked my blogs. He’s also the one I mentioned in December - the youngest of the new neighbours. I can confirm that he is indeed a year younger (bastard!) so it’s all cool. Or cool beans. Is that the hip word? I can’t keep up. Anyway, he’s really sweet. We’ve only been seeing one another since January 15th (see, blogs are good for something; I’m usually hopeless with dates) but I feel like I’ve known him a lifetime. We have many similarities - we enjoy dark humour, we’re both quite sarcastic and he’s playful - as well as a fair few differences - he’s sporty, I’m not; he likes swimming, I don’t; he prefers cats, I beat him for being a fool - but I think I actually like our differences. Something nice about it. He plays football a fair bit and it’s nice to go and watch him. Sure, the game bores me to death but it’s not about that. And there’s something about a sweaty man in shorts. He’s currently out of the country and yeah, I can’t deny it sucks not having him here. I’ve got Mark and Meryl but I’m sure you know it’s not the same. Besides, they have lives of their own - not that Ryan doesn’t or that I’d expect him to be here but…eh, I dunno. I’m not sure what my point was/is. Just waffling I guess.

I’m drained already. I honestly don’t know how I’m going to cope with everything that’s yet to come. I still have to face the inevitable decision to put Shiva to sleep and the coming memorials won’t be easy. I’m going to lose a lot of sleep over this next month. Maybe I should ask my GP for something to help me along. It’s just that my head buzzes so much that I can’t sleep; it’s like that little voice just kicks in and that’s it. I can only sleep when it decides to shut up, and given everything that’s happening it’s more active than ever. Honestly, my own head drives me insane at the best of times but this is just ridiculous. And the worst part of it all is that you can’t escape yourself (without the use of powerful sleep inducing drugs or a hard, brick pillow).

Ugh…it’s six now. I can hear the birds outside. Satan give me strength…

The Long Goodbye

The Long Goodbye

The title may be a tad misleading in that it’s not truly goodbye but it seems relatively fitting.  Anyway, onwards to the purpose of this blog: a public explanation of my recent decisions to resign from all official posts.