New Beginnings

Hmm, the title is relatively misleading – and considering how many restarts I’ve had, can I ever truly have a NEW beginning?  More like a recycled kickstart to it I suppose.  Still, it’s a nice, positive title I think.  And that’s what I want – positivity!

For some time now I’ve been fairly inactive on the internet, which has been due to several major factors: work, life and a computer that’s slowly killing itself.  Fortune has smiled on me in a way; my old computer’s heart has been consumed by the newer (if slightly aged) model, thus I now have a speedy computer with two hearts!  I’d almost forgotten what a fast computer looked like (as even the one I use at work has a tendency to break down and scream whenever I attempt to do two things at once, a bad habit I admit), more over, I’d almost given up on the advantages.

Prior to now I couldn’t really commit to anything with such terrible lagging – really, I can’t emphasise how impossible it is to do anything effectively on a computer that has such a disasterous response time.  For instance, I used to be able to jump between fora without incident, allowing me to multi-task across multiple websites.  That was impractical however when my computer slowed down since loading time for a new page took anything up to 10 seconds.  Not much you might think, but consider then the general lagging when scrolling, and that it could take a further several seconds just for it to register clicking a link.  All in all, tasks that took me seconds previously started to take minutes.  And when I was moderating or providing support on the likes of IF or ZB, slow response time made me obsolete.  This is (more or less) what led to my eventual departure from IF/ZB, and then from the general internet (putting other issues aside).  Strange as it may sound, when you feel you can’t provide anything of use to the communities you frequent, you come to feel like a bit of a burden; and I was proving to be remarkably useless.

I’ve been in my new job for about six months now (I’ve recently passed my six months probation period, yay!) and am finally getting to grips with certain aspects of it; but as they keep reminding me, ‘it takes anything up to 2 years to become a fully competent BDO’.  Feh.  True perhaps but still.   That said, I’m fairly happy in my job – admittedly the people can be a bit of a downer, and we have some serious morale issues (not least of all because of said downers), but the work is good and challenging, it forces me to actually think about the situation, to consider the individual and to act accordingly.  It’s kinda scary knowing the financial wellbeing of others is in my hands, but that overwhelming feeling is a good thing and is what helps me to act in their best interest.  Not that they always appreciate it, and not that there aren’t a good many times when I’m having to take away from the person.  But hey, if you don’t follow the rules or heed our numerous warnings, you get what’s coming to you.  People don’t see it like that of course but eh, such is life.

Not much to say about my own life at the moment, except that I’m actually enjoying it a lot more.  I’m still exhausted most days, and my social life is dire, but I’m happier in myself and that’s what counts.  Meryl has recently gone back to America to be with her family for the season so it’s just myself, Mark and my niece – whose health has improved remarkably (for those who may know what I’m referring to).  Oh, and the dogs of course.

Soooo what happens now?  I’m not sure really, but with my newfound spark of interest (and the bubble of speed on my ‘puter), I’m more determined now to return to a quasi-state of normality.  Blogging will hopefully play a bigger part than it did previously.  Blogging is fun, I miss it.  And it allows me to gather my thoughts more effectively while forcing myself to remain true, knowing that someone may just stumble across this piece of dead space and actually read something.  Terrifying, for both of us I imagine.

Blogging also helps me get used to this new fangled keyboard.  I’m honestly not sure if the keys have just been gracelessly wedged apart by a crowbar or if its just that my fingers are frozen and clumsy, but this will certainly take some getting used to.  You wouldn’t believe how many keying errors I’ve made just typing this out!  Well…maybe some of you will.

Anyway, to summarise: technology is cool, life is sunshine, dogs have an unusual tendency to go for underwear, and I’m back (almost).