The problem with the gene pool is that there’s no life guard…

CAN. YOU. READ. THIS?

Oh good. For a moment I was worried that I was perhaps speaking in tongues. Lately I’ve found myself having to repeat what I say over and over again in different ways just to get through to that vacant organ people keep in their rat’s maze of a head. Now I’ve debated with the terminally thick since I first came online but lately it’s as if people are just becoming more and more lazy to the point they just overload, shut down and stop listening to everything everyone else says. Is Bill Gates multiplying or something?

Really, it’s ridiculous the number of times I’ve had to break an argument down into little pieces of layman’s terms for people to digest like a mother cutting up her kid’s dinner just so the damn thing can swallow the crap and regurgitate it whilst crying (which, I will grant you, is no mean feat). What do people want? The verbal answer to spaghetti hoops? Are we now to dilute our thoughts until we reach some watery substance that bears a resemblance to a well thought out, roundly structured, logical point if you stand on your head and squint our eyes whilst playing the banjo on a full moon?!?

Okay, okay, perhaps over doing it a bit but still, my point stands. The internet has never been the place to attempt to engage in meaningful conversation but at least sometimes a debate or discussion would materialise something worth reading. Now it seems that’s no longer the case. Rather than bother to read people just skip over crap or – better yet – chew it up, spit it out and pretend you said something entirely different. Y’know, because hidden agendas are cool, right?

I have this great little sheet I got from my mum years ago titled “69 Wisdoms and Axioms for modern life”. You may have heard of most of them, they’re nothing new (at least I’ve seen them used in satire) but they’re fantastic. There’s this one axiom that fits perfectly in terms of how debates on a forum work: “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.” The latter is essentially what debating boils down to. That, and trying to see how often you can fit the word “fact” into debate without anyone catching on.

It’s not that I’m “thickest” as Kate calls it ( ) it’s just that it really irks me the way people blatantly (and I can only assume knowingly) turn an argument entirely upside down because (1) they didn’t understand it and (2) they want you to speak slowly using terms* they know. Maybe even throw in a colourful diagram or two, everyone seems to like those. Boy, I’ve never seen people attack a topic so much as when someone includes images. David Attenborough would kill to catch such a rare sight on one of his documentaries. Worse still is the vehemence people do it with – that angry, brooding fervour that oozes from their posts like a repulsive puss with a chip on its shoulder. Why do people get so worked up to the point they think everyone is against them? Why is the difference of opinion so difficult to cope with that people resort to ad hominem or argumentum ad personam. And the irony of it all is that it’s done with the self-righteous smugness that they’re in the right, that they are the good ones – yet they cannot see that in their bid to be correct they merely ignore others, attack the individuals and completely ignore or misrepresent the argument put forth.

That is one thing I can’t abide by – straw arguments. Sometimes people do it by accident, that I can accept, but again it’s those who do it with the blatant intention to simply put words into another’s mouth in order to damage their character or misrepresent their argument, thus furthering their agenda.

Yeah, alright, I know, I do have a habit of making long, drawn out arguments in debates but I learned a long time ago that if one fails to deliver the overall essence of one’s stance then it can descend into a row only to discover in the end it may have been averted had you laid before others something you’d left out. If I get down my overall feelings it should at least lay the foundations for a solid argument by removing any misunderstandings or plot holes that might make people beg a question. Doesn’t always work and apparently now it stands for nothing. Never mind paying attention to what someone posts when you willingly enter a debate, nope just go in, plough through it all and dismember every scrap of dignity you can muster.

Meh, just felt like a rant. In other news:

It’s not a wise idea to have only a half-hour’s sleep. It got me by yesterday (with an unusual amount of energy) but when I got home things just got weird. I eventually fell asleep, as one does, but when I awoke…woah, freeky sheets. For starters it had been a sleep riddled with nightmares so I awoke with the usual feeling of nausia and upset one might experience. Worse than that was that my room door had been closed and nobody switched the heating off; for some reason my room ended up as hot as it gets in the summer with the windows closed! I was absolutely soaked, hell I’m surpised I wasn’t submerged when I managed to come round to consciousness. I don’t even sweat that much when I work out. And the thing is…I’m not sure just when I was awake and when I wasn’t. I just kept slipping in and out of consciousness so much, and hallucinating to boot (I kept seeing weird things, people and what have you). I was freaked out to say the least. I eventually snapped out of it after managing to crawl upright but I was just shaken, and I’m not entirely sure why. Perhaps it had something to do with my sleep deprivation and the heat?

And I’ve just gotten off the phone with Mark. Apparently Shiva’s taken ill – badly. He’s going to take her to the vet but he couldn’t get her in early so I’ll be able to join him after work. Poor thing, she hasn’t been in the best of health lately. She’s getting on in years though, she’s been with us since I was a kid. I just hope it’s nothing serious, poor mite’s been through enough as it is.

What a week. And it’s only Tuesday!

*having a copy of the Children’s Oxford Dictionary helps resolve this issue.