*lives*

Yep, contrary to how it may seem, I am indeed still alive. I haven’t blogged in Lord knows how long and my activity hasn’t been spectacular lately. I *could* put it down to laziness, that has always been a problem that kicks in every now and then (’sall Merc’s fault) but I don’t think it is. No, this time it’s something more, something I can’t quite put my finger on.

Well I can’t claim to know the precise reasons, certainly, but it seems that whatever is behind it I’m drifting further away. I’m losing that connection I used to have. No, not my broadband, I’m talking about my online-ness. :S I have the time yet not the energy and I do little enough to warrant an end to my stamina. But is it stamina? It’s nothing physical so…emotional? I don’t know. How does one describe the depletion of energy without physical exhaustion? I suppose that’s neither here nor there, the fact is, it’s there. Or not, as the case seems to be.

Perhaps I’m losing interest and subsequently shutting down. I’m not sure which is why I haven’t been around as much, and why I haven’t blogged. Thanks to Stanleh for prodding me; I should have actually posted this last Friday but you’re getting it now, which is probably distinctly sooner than would have had I been left to it. Probably would have gone unposted. So, yeah, if you’re wondering why I’m not doing much, that’s about it. I’m on hiatus until I can make a decision. I’ve already come to some difficult conclusions but I won’t be doing anything just yet until I’m sure about it.

Whatever happens though, I hope people won’t take it personally. I’m going to be letting some people down, that much is inevitable, but it’s not because I want to (although I am responsible for this whole mess). My situation has changed, dramatically, and my hours are reduced. Realistically I don’t have as much time as I used to and I want to start getting back into the real world. To do that I’ll have to cut some ties on the internet. I’ve nested in a fair few communities. Unfortunately many of those nests are fairly high up, but I either do nothing, let it pile up and just leave completely when it all gets too much; or I make some painful decisions and relieve my time, clearing way for a better life for moi and allowing someone else more worthy to fill in my gap.

All I can say really is watch this space.

In other, more elated news, I have a date tonight. Yay me.